So I’ve finally decided to get my act together and start up a blog: RoseTintedBlue.
It’s been on my to-do list for a while and isolation has given me the time to stop making excuses and start writing.
While I’ve been tempted to sit around all day, watch Netflix, and feel sorry for myself (which believe me, I have done), I know that it’s not the best thing for me mentally. But equally, I can’t find the motivation to do all the things I said I would ‘if I had enough time’.
Writing is something that meets me halfway. It’s something I enjoy and it helps me to process what I’m thinking and feeling in a rational way.
The quote ‘I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say’ very much comes to mind here. Inside my head it’s all just half-written words, unfinished sentences and waves of emotion, moving at hundreds of miles an hour, clouding rational judgement. It’s only until I write that I know what I really feel or think about anything. And even that changes (but I’ll leave that for another time!).
Writing completes the words, finishes the sentences, and straightens out the waves…or at least attempts to.
If I don’t write anything down I can spend hours staring at the wall in my room, or listening to the most depressing music from my Spotify playlists. Either way, I’m deliberately making myself worse.
The truth is, I’m finding things quite difficult at the moment. I’ve actually been finding things difficult for a while, but I’ll talk about this more in later posts.
I need somewhere to let everything out; to write everything down. Though I do have supportive people in my life that I can talk to, I feel uncomfortable relying on them so much. Although I know they want to help, the things I’m struggling with, I’m struggling with 24/7. If I went to talk to these people every time I was having a difficult minute, hour, day…well it just makes me feel like a broken record. And I hate feeling like that.
The other day I joined a mental health forum and was shocked by the number of people that were going through their own mental health struggles, particularly those with symptoms that were similar to mine. A part of me felt somewhat relieved in that I wasn’t alone.
I was struck with an idea that seemed to combine the above two desires: to have my own blog, a project to keep my mind occupied; and to interact with those dealing with their own mental health problems, to offer and seek advice from those who understand, and hopefully to educate those who don’t. My idea: RoseTintedBlue.
I want RoseTintedBlue to be an open space for me to write and for you to respond, both of which helping us to express all that we think and feel, and thus to lead healthier and happier lives.
Sitting on my bed at 1:00 in the morning, unable to sleep and feeling incredibly low, the idea seems a world away; but writing makes me optimistic. And I’d pick a rose-tinted world to a blue one any day. Let’s enjoy it while it’s here.